Anxiety

               Come on,honestly who would sing this song?

Its been a long year.Many things happened that I wish it never happened but well life is full of surprises and it ain’t all nice and flowery.Just finished not long ago one of the most hardest yet most disappointing exam.At least did get it through,now I yearn to go back to place where I call home,my hometown,Penang.Just in a few days will be having my last paper,but at the same time in a few days time will going home.Damn the anxiety!Thinking back I guess it will be 1 big family reunion(in a way) all of us siblings,coming home after all this years.Its something I look forward too though sharing room again its gona be awkward..

                       My little Devil,soon~

I guess soon will conclude my 2nd Course(year) as a Medical Student and bring forth the 3rd Course(depicted by many as the hardest year).But it was a blast =) all the things went through the this year and that will remembered always.

    and so ended the last class but with nice ending =D!Appreciated so much for what this teacher had thought me.One of the most nicest teacher I ever met.Will be seeing you again next semester =D.

Pity

                                                                              just let it go…..

Sometimes being nice is not a rewarding act but we all don’t really expect much from others either.Its pity that it has to resolve to this.Outcast,isolation and loneliness is not my forte.I just can’t bring myself to see that to happen to my friend so I lend a hand.Though only 1 thing I want I want in return..just don’t let me down.But I guess that’s rather disappointing.There are many things I can tolerate,sometimes I’m quite baffled at how much I can tolerate but there is limitation,especially when it comes to keeping up to your words.Patience is a virtue so no words will be said anymore about it and its not my lost.Its just a pity.

Why do we fall?so we can pick ourselves up!

Its been a while I last blogged.Seriously I thought this year couldn’t get any worst as it is but well..life is full of surprises and challenges.As for me,things just kept going down.Its hard to keep a positive mind but still,there are always those little things which still kept me going always =)

   Plug it?…..

And then I’m back back to the old dilemma..*sigh*..turn up again in the two things which I love the most..my musical life..or sport life..but it just the same as it was 4 years back.I never want to be perfect in both but to get a grasp to be at least good at it..takes a lot of effort and time which i ‘m short off.*double sigh* I want to be good in sports but I also want to be equally good in music.Haha I guess this what you call “Asians” haha be the best in everything..but to me it really does,I guess this pretty much the 2 things kept me sane for the pass years…along with my friends =)

                             or dunk it?

 

Not only that,went to Niznhy Novgorod for the Malaysian Intervarsity IX games but well..didn’t felt quite what I expected.Maybe I was expecting more of it?In the end,well not worth it though at least there was gain some experience.Could be because I wasn’t well prepared?Could it be because it was a complete waste of time? Could it be because of poor leadership?Could it be there was no team at all? .This medal I got back.I don’t deserved it.I’m no freeloader.Neither winning or losing matters,as long it was fun but the problem is..well where was the fun? It just doesn’t prove anything..

Worst part is before even going to Niznhy saw something that I think shouldn’t or should see which was equally depressing.It was like slap back to reality.Took me a while to accept it.Pretty much like a Bitch Slap to the face.I kept eluding myself into thinking that could that really be her?and then get Mindf**ked.I feel like my brain likes to troll me lol!.

 

 

 

But for a brief moment realized,got to stop being such a p**sy,So what if I fall so many times,I still can pick myself up.If I can’t.I know there are still my friends to help me up.Its not the end of the world yet.I will be train harder for sports,I will find time and improve my skills in music,and I will keep my spirits up!.I know this like complete bullshit if anyone read this,but hey,its not easy trying to keep in everything inside and trying to convince yourself that everything is gonna be alright.Sometimes I just need to let it out the truth rather than smiling =)

Back to the way it was

Its been a while and things are getting back to the way it was though some things remained scarred.Picking up myself and say “shit happens” .Time to regain a foot on my life.When in doubt,I always look back to music to calm the uncertainty.

                             simple pick on the strings can just pick you up =)

Though not a day goes pass thinking about that day.II might be paranoid but I just cannot let my guard down anymore.Seeing your friend going down and your not able to do anything is really well..felt powerless.Though I told myself I'm not gona let that happen again,I really hope it don’t have to happen again.

 

 

 

Each key played rings a moment of silence in the unrest heart…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even just to go for Chinese New Year Celebration at the Hiroshima hostel,just to go there felt a lil unsecured but everything turn out quite well except the fact the police asked me ON A SUNDAY to SENT IN the shirts and bags which were stained with blood for ANALYSIS. Don’t even bother asking why I took so long for them to ask this which they could ask on the day itself.I got an answer which gave me the *Poker face*..lol!

                         CNY!! though late xD

And to all the guys/gals out there,I really want to thank you guys for helping out that time especially you kalis!you rawk! thanks! Time to get back to my life and start living in it !

PS: Thanks sharifah for lending me the keyboard! =D

and also a somewhat late birthday wish to an old friend of mine,also a big CAT xD!

                 “Happy 21th Birthday Dalvin”

      to the one of the most kuai lan friend I ever know lol!!

From bad to worst

                            lost somewhere…

Its been a while since I last posted anything.Well cause there is just no words to describe my situation at that time as it was a mixed feelings of fun,anger,fear,powerless and lost.It 1 short moment of time,suddenly everything just go haywire just a snap.*puff*..A war between friends,a sudden realization that you can be next again,that danger lurks around the corner even in your comfort zone.I felt like I just stepped on a mine or something and *BOOM* .What else can be done? pretty much nothing.But its hard lesson as in literally.Not matter how prepared you are,the unexpected do happens.

Though if I do get a chance,I really want to f**king stab you bastards at heart and watch you bleed out to death!! I might try to save you and then stab you again to see you die! I won’t go down without a fight.I will be more prepared.I will not fall that easily.I will not falter.Like they say “What doesn’t kill you,just make you stronger”.

,

A long week

                              My group mates and my anatomy teacher =)

Couldn’t finish up my Recap part 2,been battling with my anatomy recap lol.Today was the last class with our anatomy teacher which was one or the best anatomy teacher we had =) Now need to cram everything if possible of what I learnt for pass 1 and half year of anatomy.This was and still is 1 of the most interesting subject I studied,really hope can do well with it =).One of the few subjects that really fascinated me about us,humans and how unique and special we are.

            and it keep on pilling up

No doubt this is going to be one hell of a week or to be more precise 3 days.Need to get my game face on! not getting arrows to the knee *yes I know this joke I really getting old but I am after all playing Skyrim  unlike those that did not play it or don’t even know what is Skyrim*

And can’t be said belated though,anyhow Happy Birthday to the one of the awesome,craziest,BItch please!,troller,tendency of violence,9Gag-er friend of mine.

                 Happy Belated Birthday  Areena !!

Recap Part 1

           A little something to get me by everyday =)

Well its brand new year and not really a brand new beginning.Kinda shitty beginning at the very least.Seriously to start of a new year got study my ass out for exam.Well at least last year was a blast =D.Though I can say it was a hard year for me and its gona be harder.Mistakes were done but I have no regrets.I live by a single rule in my life,one till now I won’t change one bit,”I am who I am and nothing will change it”.Yes I know I’m being naïve but that’s just me =P

                         Epic face is face !

Though did a few my can be so called wish-list done :

1. Manage to improve myself playing guitar(next is to shredding )
2. Party to the max!!
3. Get to meet back the old gang =D
4. Have a hell of time with my friends
5. Manage to convince myself not to give up on those I care

and others.Well there are of course the downside of everything but hey,not everything goes according to plan.Like right now,f**king problem with credit card and exam is just around the f**king corner,how f**king fantastic.For me there is no greatest time for last year because everytime is great =D!.Learnt to cherish every freaking moment of my life even though its it can as shitty as it be cause well I have this people right down here to make everything awesome =D

                        See? awesome people is awesome

Though be it that I fell into the infamous “Friendzone”,,it pains me to see that everyday but well,sucks to be me at that moment lol!.and yet .It ain’t easy just to get out from there lol! learnt that from 9GAG! XD

                       1 hell of crazy night bitches!!!

Will continue this in the next part,time for hibernation =D!!

                    and Happy new year to everyone out here =D!

            and to my dog,Nono!!!! missing u d xD!!!