Anxiety

               Come on,honestly who would sing this song?

Its been a long year.Many things happened that I wish it never happened but well life is full of surprises and it ain’t all nice and flowery.Just finished not long ago one of the most hardest yet most disappointing exam.At least did get it through,now I yearn to go back to place where I call home,my hometown,Penang.Just in a few days will be having my last paper,but at the same time in a few days time will going home.Damn the anxiety!Thinking back I guess it will be 1 big family reunion(in a way) all of us siblings,coming home after all this years.Its something I look forward too though sharing room again its gona be awkward..

                       My little Devil,soon~

I guess soon will conclude my 2nd Course(year) as a Medical Student and bring forth the 3rd Course(depicted by many as the hardest year).But it was a blast =) all the things went through the this year and that will remembered always.

    and so ended the last class but with nice ending =D!Appreciated so much for what this teacher had thought me.One of the most nicest teacher I ever met.Will be seeing you again next semester =D.

Pity

                                                                              just let it go…..

Sometimes being nice is not a rewarding act but we all don’t really expect much from others either.Its pity that it has to resolve to this.Outcast,isolation and loneliness is not my forte.I just can’t bring myself to see that to happen to my friend so I lend a hand.Though only 1 thing I want I want in return..just don’t let me down.But I guess that’s rather disappointing.There are many things I can tolerate,sometimes I’m quite baffled at how much I can tolerate but there is limitation,especially when it comes to keeping up to your words.Patience is a virtue so no words will be said anymore about it and its not my lost.Its just a pity.

Why do we fall?so we can pick ourselves up!

Its been a while I last blogged.Seriously I thought this year couldn’t get any worst as it is but well..life is full of surprises and challenges.As for me,things just kept going down.Its hard to keep a positive mind but still,there are always those little things which still kept me going always =)

   Plug it?…..

And then I’m back back to the old dilemma..*sigh*..turn up again in the two things which I love the most..my musical life..or sport life..but it just the same as it was 4 years back.I never want to be perfect in both but to get a grasp to be at least good at it..takes a lot of effort and time which i ‘m short off.*double sigh* I want to be good in sports but I also want to be equally good in music.Haha I guess this what you call “Asians” haha be the best in everything..but to me it really does,I guess this pretty much the 2 things kept me sane for the pass years…along with my friends =)

                             or dunk it?

 

Not only that,went to Niznhy Novgorod for the Malaysian Intervarsity IX games but well..didn’t felt quite what I expected.Maybe I was expecting more of it?In the end,well not worth it though at least there was gain some experience.Could be because I wasn’t well prepared?Could it be because it was a complete waste of time? Could it be because of poor leadership?Could it be there was no team at all? .This medal I got back.I don’t deserved it.I’m no freeloader.Neither winning or losing matters,as long it was fun but the problem is..well where was the fun? It just doesn’t prove anything..

Worst part is before even going to Niznhy saw something that I think shouldn’t or should see which was equally depressing.It was like slap back to reality.Took me a while to accept it.Pretty much like a Bitch Slap to the face.I kept eluding myself into thinking that could that really be her?and then get Mindf**ked.I feel like my brain likes to troll me lol!.

 

 

 

But for a brief moment realized,got to stop being such a p**sy,So what if I fall so many times,I still can pick myself up.If I can’t.I know there are still my friends to help me up.Its not the end of the world yet.I will be train harder for sports,I will find time and improve my skills in music,and I will keep my spirits up!.I know this like complete bullshit if anyone read this,but hey,its not easy trying to keep in everything inside and trying to convince yourself that everything is gonna be alright.Sometimes I just need to let it out the truth rather than smiling =)

Back to the way it was

Its been a while and things are getting back to the way it was though some things remained scarred.Picking up myself and say “shit happens” .Time to regain a foot on my life.When in doubt,I always look back to music to calm the uncertainty.

                             simple pick on the strings can just pick you up =)

Though not a day goes pass thinking about that day.II might be paranoid but I just cannot let my guard down anymore.Seeing your friend going down and your not able to do anything is really well..felt powerless.Though I told myself I'm not gona let that happen again,I really hope it don’t have to happen again.

 

 

 

Each key played rings a moment of silence in the unrest heart…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even just to go for Chinese New Year Celebration at the Hiroshima hostel,just to go there felt a lil unsecured but everything turn out quite well except the fact the police asked me ON A SUNDAY to SENT IN the shirts and bags which were stained with blood for ANALYSIS. Don’t even bother asking why I took so long for them to ask this which they could ask on the day itself.I got an answer which gave me the *Poker face*..lol!

                         CNY!! though late xD

And to all the guys/gals out there,I really want to thank you guys for helping out that time especially you kalis!you rawk! thanks! Time to get back to my life and start living in it !

PS: Thanks sharifah for lending me the keyboard! =D

and also a somewhat late birthday wish to an old friend of mine,also a big CAT xD!

                 “Happy 21th Birthday Dalvin”

      to the one of the most kuai lan friend I ever know lol!!

From bad to worst

                            lost somewhere…

Its been a while since I last posted anything.Well cause there is just no words to describe my situation at that time as it was a mixed feelings of fun,anger,fear,powerless and lost.It 1 short moment of time,suddenly everything just go haywire just a snap.*puff*..A war between friends,a sudden realization that you can be next again,that danger lurks around the corner even in your comfort zone.I felt like I just stepped on a mine or something and *BOOM* .What else can be done? pretty much nothing.But its hard lesson as in literally.Not matter how prepared you are,the unexpected do happens.

Though if I do get a chance,I really want to f**king stab you bastards at heart and watch you bleed out to death!! I might try to save you and then stab you again to see you die! I won’t go down without a fight.I will be more prepared.I will not fall that easily.I will not falter.Like they say “What doesn’t kill you,just make you stronger”.

,

A long week

                              My group mates and my anatomy teacher =)

Couldn’t finish up my Recap part 2,been battling with my anatomy recap lol.Today was the last class with our anatomy teacher which was one or the best anatomy teacher we had =) Now need to cram everything if possible of what I learnt for pass 1 and half year of anatomy.This was and still is 1 of the most interesting subject I studied,really hope can do well with it =).One of the few subjects that really fascinated me about us,humans and how unique and special we are.

            and it keep on pilling up

No doubt this is going to be one hell of a week or to be more precise 3 days.Need to get my game face on! not getting arrows to the knee *yes I know this joke I really getting old but I am after all playing Skyrim  unlike those that did not play it or don’t even know what is Skyrim*

And can’t be said belated though,anyhow Happy Birthday to the one of the awesome,craziest,BItch please!,troller,tendency of violence,9Gag-er friend of mine.

                 Happy Belated Birthday  Areena !!

Recap Part 1

           A little something to get me by everyday =)

Well its brand new year and not really a brand new beginning.Kinda shitty beginning at the very least.Seriously to start of a new year got study my ass out for exam.Well at least last year was a blast =D.Though I can say it was a hard year for me and its gona be harder.Mistakes were done but I have no regrets.I live by a single rule in my life,one till now I won’t change one bit,”I am who I am and nothing will change it”.Yes I know I’m being naïve but that’s just me =P

                         Epic face is face !

Though did a few my can be so called wish-list done :

1. Manage to improve myself playing guitar(next is to shredding )
2. Party to the max!!
3. Get to meet back the old gang =D
4. Have a hell of time with my friends
5. Manage to convince myself not to give up on those I care

and others.Well there are of course the downside of everything but hey,not everything goes according to plan.Like right now,f**king problem with credit card and exam is just around the f**king corner,how f**king fantastic.For me there is no greatest time for last year because everytime is great =D!.Learnt to cherish every freaking moment of my life even though its it can as shitty as it be cause well I have this people right down here to make everything awesome =D

                        See? awesome people is awesome

Though be it that I fell into the infamous “Friendzone”,,it pains me to see that everyday but well,sucks to be me at that moment lol!.and yet .It ain’t easy just to get out from there lol! learnt that from 9GAG! XD

                       1 hell of crazy night bitches!!!

Will continue this in the next part,time for hibernation =D!!

                    and Happy new year to everyone out here =D!

            and to my dog,Nono!!!! missing u d xD!!!

Magical Christmas

                                   Teddy!!!

Well not exactly magical on the day itself but on the eve was awesome.Had a great time with my buddies.Just have few couples of shot and games is enough to bring back all the laughers and joy of Christmas.To end it watch a horror movie(don’t ask why).Amazing how just a simple gather with friends and some “beverages” can lighten up the mood and atmosphere =D a real jolly good day.Well Christmas on Sunday its kinda like a tradition to be on pajamas 90% of the day on Sunday.So ended Christmas on pajamas 80% of the day! Well Spent!

                             there you go,the “beverages”

and I even get the chance to decorate the Christmas tree.I know it ain’t much but well its better then nothing right? =)

                                     *tada*! its done!!

But well we have a saying each time we have this kind of event

            “What happens here,stays here”

That’s all I can say.haha but there is still leftovers.Will be continued to New Year eve.

And Credits to Marcus Teoh Shen Yew,really awesome pictures taken =D

                Thanks for making this gathering even more awesome guys =D!!!

and of course how could we not forget our star of the day?

                          One of the best Philosophers of the dayxD!

   To be continued to New Year Eve! Merry Christmas Everyone! =D

Change in music

After watching the Meme’s Proposal by the Malaysian couples (congratz to Audrey and Tim =) cried like a boss* lol) here is the link if didn’t see it yet,I really recommend watching it =D really something out of the box http://9gag.com/gag/1183386

Suddenly just got a feel to listen back to this love songs =D this is the song used in that video and NO!! I didn’t know this from Twilight!  hope you guys like it as much as I do =D! been playing in my playlist for awhile

*sigh*

    *sigh*..Sometimes this happens but what if don’t reply after a while? Different story right? *double sigh*

Blissful ignorance

People say the best way to avoid any conflicts or problem is to simply ignore it.

“Do no harm to others and others”

    will not harm you

                                                           - Confucius -

 Easier then said done.I mean how long does anyone want to continue on ignoring some facts in their life? or their social problems?..Its seems easy just to laugh it off the problems in life or just put up a smile.But sometimes its just not enough.When it turns serious,its means its personal already.They should get the message but they don’t which makes it irritating.

“ Be a man!Do the right thing! ”

                                 - Russel Peter -

Not better way to say it.What so hard of doing that?.I’m constantly reminded this.If I do something which is not other people liking,I’m considered selfish,cold but its right.I can just in exploit everyone's weakness and use it against them and turn everything bitter and sour instead of sweet and a little sour but doing that wouldn’t that make any less the different from them? To lash out all the anger or to suppress ..

People say “Just Let it Go,Forgive and Forget” .But I had my fair share of conflicts and it usually didn’t turn out well.I know I am hot tempered,forgetful,self-centered,inconsiderate,impolite, but that’s just me.But to be constantly reminded of that,of course who can let it go or Forgive and forget? I am just mere human If you wish to play this game,so be it.I’ll the “Bastard guy” and “Evil Guy” once more Think it over will ya?

and one more thing,Not EVERYONE is stupid as you think they are..

Happy birthday!!!

Well 1st up,sorry again for not celebrating with you in time for your birthday >.<.Been laid back this week.Recovery really slow.Although I couldn’t be the 1st one to wish you but I hope I’m no the last xD!. .I guess this year won’t be on time but nevertheless,this post is dedicated to you,my mentor,my friend,my brother, =D…

 

                         My mentor when I was in Pre-med

                            My friend and also another Penang-lang

                           My closest friend =D!!!!!

                               My brothers! xD!!

             this wan for you =D!!!!

        “Happy Birthday”

        Daniel Tham Zen Kuang

 

Damn the economy..

It sucks to know when your sick and you have to go see the doctor and buy the medicine in hopes of getting better.What's sucks more is the fact that the price of medicine is getting up and money ain’t easy to get btw.==!! damn.And worst part is they prescribe the same medicine here all the time which is Arbidol (anti-viral drug) for almost all the time.Although it’s a lil expensive.Last year bought it about 250rbl(pack of 20 tablets) which is approximately about rm26-27..and the 40 tablets costs about 560rbl approximately about rm57.

Just now I just bought it for 795 rbl!! ==!! and a also bough Tantrum Verde(anti-inflammatory spray) for my sore throat for 200rbl?? The price hike up so much within a year..

At first the doctor ask me (rough translation)

Doctor = Do you have money for medication?

Me = Err,yes? *Only later to find out what she meant”

Doctor = Ok then I prescribe you with this medicine.,if you can try to get all 3 of this.And get me your blood and urine test too

Me = Ok thanks.* go to the local pharmacist and gave them the prescription list the doctor wrote for me*

Pharmacist = Ok,are you sure you want all of this?”

Me = Why?What’s wrong with it?

Pharmacist = Well,they are expensive which sum up about 1800rbl.

Me= *poker face*  wtf???……..*wallet just got 1200rbl*…

 

Only bought 2 of the 3 medicine she prescribe for me.*sigh*

Jolly good day!

               And its still autumn!!…==

Finally,get things going.Finalized my trip to U.K with my friend.Though I hope my brother at Stafford will be free.Can pay him a visit =D! but still waiting for his reply.Been a hell of day.Freakish weird weather ==.Whole day been snowing,and snowing…and snowing on November?? which is still Autumn by the way.But today was a productive day =D! even had a few couple of shot of dry gin mixed with soda and lime and a table spoon of sugar(sweeten it) and tasted great!!

                           a cold day deserves a hot shot! xD!

and I even get to remake my favorite song =D!!though there are mistakes.A sudden spur of  of ideas and just have mood to go along with it.=D!! just another great night

Hope u guys like it =D!!! till next time!

Shura(修羅)

Its been a while =D!! Yeah there still mistakes,but it took me a while,quite simple.One way to spent my holidays xD!! and Shura or 修羅.Means carnage or very bloody battle scene.That’s gona happen in a few days time.3 concluding to do.Great..Anatomy,Histology and Physiology..in 3 days time..hahaha

Madness

I can use this to depict this situation at club I went in Volgograd on Halloween. Its 1 experience I will never forget.Was having a hell of a time there.Though it was madness and havoc,but at least had some fun =D! with my friends.Can see a lot of the photos taken by the photographer of the club in their website.

http://vlg.nightparty.ru/foto/ofsession/one/halloween_amsterdam_2011_10_30/4906904

this was some of the shots I got off.

                            You need and exorcist ??  or Pedophile? xD!!!

   There is a reason why this club is called “Amsterdam “

but all this ended when suddenly…..some idiot sprayed pepper spray around the club and everyone rushed to a small corner to get air and get their coats and jackets to go outside to get some air..My god I can’t tell u the experience of the pepper spray..but I still think getting tazered r d by your own brother sucks more~ LOL!!!

Later I find out that this was their gimmick or their methods to get people out and come back in again,here is the catch..when u come in again..u have to pay for entrance fee again.See?? simple reason but totally unnecessary LOL!!

hahaha,well so far Russia has shown me their wild side,let see what else have in store for me next time =D