A great moment to remember

and of course im late to wish everyone Merry Christmas ~ but hey ~ its time to be jolly =D!!!

                 thanks for making my day =D!..

well the worst of the week is over..luckly the performance wasn’t that horrible as it seen >.< but regardless of the shitness happened again and again..it seems to hurt less but yet thinking about that..really drop my mind into consideration of where to put my faith in….but at least I know I have a few people I can put my faith in always =D!

and an unexpected gift from my roomate..my friend =D!

thanks for the coffee mike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xD!!!More adrenaline!! hehe

cant wait for the new year..=D!

Betrayal

                                             *sigh*…..

Sometimes we always here this a lot..like people backstabbing other people and etc.Usually and most of the times..the victim is unaware and it strikes down hard and painfully…Its normal for every person to felt this pain and suffering..but sometimes its really unexpected…from unexpected people too..especially knowing they WERE the people you care about.

I knew thought this would happen to me.

    I stood up for them when nobody could do it..

           I stood for them when they need it the most..

                 I took the blame when nobody can take it...

                        I charge the front for them when nobody wanted too..

but…when I need them the most,all I get from them was…..

                                   total…

 

                                                        silence…and nothing else..

No..it was the pain from the teachers screwing me,it wasn’t the fact they scared..it wasn’t that I was being ignorant..but it was disappointment and betrayal..at that moment..I couldn’t control myself..I felt so angry..yet so sad at the same time..from that moment..I really thought for myself…it keep repeat in my mind what to do next..

“Did stood up for the wrong people?..”

                                    “What did I do wrong to deserve this?..”

“Forgive and forget?..”

                                       “Revenge or let it go?.

They didn’t know..didn’t felt anything..a share of concern? ..too late..

Well..I take this as a lesson..Forgive and forget..I can forget this..but forgive..that won’t happen.A wound forms a scar..and that scar..won’t go away.A senior once told me before..

“You don’t need many friends,you just need true friends only”

                                                                         thinking about it….

but I do know 1 thing I am sure about..I not be standing up for anyone else other than myself and my real friends..

A man of his words

A found this in my latin book

     '” Vir Vebra “

It means a man of his words..I find it amusing and true.Many people nowadays made promises which never kept.I too admit I made promises which I couldn’t keep.Sometimes its not only promises which we can keep.even a little saying could be.I feel this quite often happening to me..

                      

                                           shattering aint it?

sometimes its really frustrating and nerve-racking.I really wonder,is it so hard to ask something?? or is it really so hard to admit that “yes I don’t know” rather than “No I don’t know”..what is so hard about it? please think about it. this is just an example.

Its true the saying “Its easier said than done”…but yet ther times its just that..people always say things which they intend to do …but never done..which they never knew that sometimes..or most of the times..other people depended on that the action they speak of so proudly..when you ended doing it yourself..soon to realize that “what was bloody point of even saying it in the first place??” so that have the good impression of other people?? so that can be always on top on someone else?

I realize this a long time ago..but some didn’t.Only a few really kept it..a few…Sometimes I feel like giving up them and just ignored them..but it seems just so hard..balance between a friend and nuisance … I really wished …I wasn’t pinned down by this..

Boundaries….

What a sad a realization how limited time I have…when the time came I wasn’t there.Had a long chat with my friends.Was practicing the guitar while my friend suddenly ask me “why didn’t learn even more other instrument to play? ….and I just like *stunned!*

Shouldn’t had wasted those times..been a while didn’t felt the feeling to keep playing something you like.Maybe because I realize this could be another way for me to express my personal life and problems through music..That usually works fine for me through piano and squash.. Looking through all my genre songs..it changes dramatically…I really like J-rock songs..as it really something I felt.

look..a rocker can make such melodic music….

I felt this like another escape from reality..Listening is just not enough..Playing is just even better..but have to learn it the hardway.But everyone have its boundaries..I hope im just now pushing it…1 day I really hope I can master this instrument..within this 6 years..hopefully..

Well I don’t really expect you all to understand how I felt about this.Not many people have to urge and drive to go for it when comes to music.I hope can have my own set 1 day.. =D..well at least im still keeping 1 part of me still the same…being different =P!

bacteria!!!

Ok…I am bit crazy..due to fact have to remember and give a presentation about the whole thing about bacteria and the craps it have..=.=..ya I know,compared to those done by my seniors this is less than it seems.So far did quite well for anatomy =D! quite happy with it.Seems I learned something *like I didn’t!* lol!

Soon I can play perfectly the cover for Versailles – Shout and bliss.Might even do video depending of the time I have~ LOL!!…I shall let time do the talking when it comes.

Frozen time..

                                             so time goes on a hold…

So comes the time of the year where everything is in a sudden chill..yes im talking about Winter. Wow..seriously is the only word I can think of right now.,All of the sudden,on my way to morphological department  for my lectures..its was just cold..after lecture..there is …snows…and its like a freaking tundra .Its snow so heavily.

                                              let it snow,let is snow………..

The weird thing is..its just the 3rd day of winter..which last year was still quite warm..Food for thought..right now..Moscow is almost –20..and Saint Petersburg is almost –26..how about Volgograd?

well..luckily…its now –12…and still going down…lol!!

All I can say is…Lets Hibernate!! lol!!!

Been a interesting weekend =D!

Happy Belated Birthday bro =D

Though this aint much but I hope you enjoyed it =D!!A promise is a promise.This is something you wont get to do every single day .So once again want to wish you for all done for me and helped me through when I need help the most..

 

           “ Happy birthday Daniel Tham Zen Kuang “

The “Zebra Cake” work after all xD thanks a lot to Shen yew’s quick idea.I owe ya!!Had an awesome steamboat dinner at his place.LoL its been a while didn’t eat till stomach literally bloated *no burps* xD!Wee Wee! your sambal was simply keat wei! must try by myself next time d.

 

and so ends the “Intensive course” for the first years..*big relieve*..and begins another new challenge..lets see how it play shall i? hopefully won’t be any more Crazy suprises…especially today.. xD

                                          what a sad face…..=(…

Its just not the same…

“ Time Changes everything and everyone “

I once believed that there can be people able to not subdue or give in to the changes of time itself..but I bare witness how vulnerable we are to influence…

                       “ those were the days ”

As we move on,I felt we distanced apart from different small things.But well this is afterall uni life.No more “Secondary School Crap” .LoL! can’t believed I still remember what “He'” said last time till now.Haha! *yeah….you know who you are xD* But im still holding it together!I still miss my dog though T.T* NONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

               “things will never be the same anymore”

When you all gave me another reason to continue here,I am impressed on how you guys do it.Following your footsteps is never easy but I think if you’re here now,im sure will be disappointed.Things did change but not for the better at the very least..but at least one thing still remained the same and I really hope they do..my friends..my brothers..my sisters.. =D my family…

           

                         

This is 1 picture which everyone will remember..Literally xD!!! LOL! and still remembering why its remembered~ =D!..ahh…good times..

happening week

well as the holidays passes…well I have to say…

“Well SPENDED! =D “

Not everyday I will say that but I have to say its really worth it!.Have a great Adrenaline rush for a while xD! get my heart pumping for more!

        Awesome games mates!!! =D!! blast the shit out of each other

Its been a while too.I finally took up and getting serious in learning electric guitar.Been practicing and learning =D!! Soon…Very soon…*praying and keep on praying*

Rawk on dudes!!!

Things been running quite well here,knowing things which are not supposed to be known..Finding out that people has many “types” of faces..knowing that there are still people out there still will care for you no matter what happens..*tears of happiness* The fire burning from within is still raging >.<!!!*BURN!!!!* anyway time to continue on this life again >.<!!!

 

Autumn blues…

               a green and a yellow…..

So yes im bored as you can see frequent bloggingLOL!.Well its true i felt i can relax once in a while..Pictures like this give me reasons to keep on going =D!! Thought been difficult as recently been so far “Challenging” I think its time for me to release another dream of learning another musical instrument =D!!!

maybe by next month will get myself an electric guitar.I have to exclude my earlier plan of getting a violin as its very erm annoying to play it in such a erm…how to put it.. “PACKED” environment xD!I! i need to take things easily and need to calm down >.< felt like since last year things been goin just too fast.LoL! seriously i wish got the Time Remote control like in the movie “Switch” xD!!! *click*! paused everything~ ….wishing and wishing..>.<

                                  and so the fight goes on…….

Congratulation!

 

Well its been a while i blog happy thoughts rather than the usual hate,complains, and etc and etc.Since today wasn’t such a bad day and not everything goes according to plan but i still want to wish you again bro,Congratulation =D!!!hopefully will get to join you next year >.<!!! lol! *still dreaming*   xD

 

                     one day….hopefully..if im not dreaming xD!!!!

Though getting this is no easy task.For some that don’t know what is it.Its like our Malaysia Hari Cemerlang.If literal translation means same thing also.Getting straight excellent marks for exams are no easy task and look at all of them!!! =D!! *erm those that wore formal clothes are the ones who got it by the way xD not all lol!*

          Congratz!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=D!..

Well learned lesson

Well didn’t expect that to happen that day but goes to show everyone.Not everyone agrees with everything and there are people just don’t know when to give up and shut up.I felt this year is by far the most problematic year i seen regardless of great good deeds of my seniors who helped us all to stay in our old hostel =D! *thanks you guys!* I find that its time to takes things easy d.No point in wasting my time stressing over the thing which im learning like literally every single day.Learnt from a great senior xD!One of the most relaxed person i seen by far.

Oh ya Happy Belated birthday you 2 !!! =P

            Hope you guys have a great time =D!!

No matter what happen.I will not,i repeat i will not let her dictate my life or ruin my whole first year because of her!.I don’t you to compared me with other people else.I am who i am thats all!.Don’t test me..

changed??

                Autumn………….

After returning here about 3 weeks d..i noticed..There are changes among us which only a handfull noticed.I personally felt it the most in the not a pleasant way.Ya this lately been complaining about the stress im going through.It really does make or break a person here.I really wish it was just like last time where at least most classes ends with a smile on the face “ =D”..

I felt like im lost somewhere again..=.=.In class i really didnt expect the same thing happen again like last time.I was so pissed until at point for the momentary just let go myself.Not proud of what i said though.Sometimes i wonder is it really my fault?? or not..

Though the are happy moments like this =D!

I find myself nowadays pinned down..broken..i sometimes even like just didnt noticed whats happening around me(haha ya blurring).keeping up with them is not an easy task knowing my own limitation..I really need to straighten up myself soon before i break down again..and hope can still hold in ..

  “Anger is better than the spear”

                                                                      Ceaser.

i hope not…

A new stress…

 

Being back here didnt really gave me much hope d as i continue on.Catching up in class with like 4 super-geniuses its incredibly hard.They might not noticed but they don’t feel the pressure and stress as much as i do..especially when it comes to language..im never strong or interested in language other than the wan which i like myself.Learning foreign language is never easy and it takes time..like years!! not in a few months time..others pick up very fast but IM NOT THEM!…so please dammit..give a break already will you..im here to learn whats there to be learned to be a doctor..Not some kind of linguist .Language is something which takes TIME! which your NOT GIVING ME!

The tension build up in class is really nerve-breaking.Its hard enough just to keep it to myself.No point of telling them.None of them understand how stress i feel in class.When your in my position you will know how i feel right now,every single class your screwed one way or another,never get a chance to have a break,always the no.1 target.I am really really close to point of “returning fire” d but i hold my ground caused this is really an unnecessary problems i really don’t need now.I mean like for everyone feels the same way..”The more you hate something,the harder it is to accept it the way it is”..Same goes to this,the more i hate it,the harder for me to learn it

.Every single freakng day,i always get such “FANTASTIC” compliment like “Your the worst in class” or “Whats wrong with you??why cant you pick up like others?” or my personal favourite “why can’t you learn?”.Its not to say im not trying,i really do tried and i really do study but its just..i can digest all of this in such a short time and i need time to think.

*sigh* though this post is just pure and simple complaint and hatred and stress relieve,i find this a way for me to express what is going on in my life which very few people knew about.This point,i really really wish,i can just change or transfer.I really feel im jus wasting my time but at least there are some friends i really i can talk too about this.

I really wish i can just skip this 2 months,6-7 hours of just Pure language class i really..really too intense.Please will you just leave me alone..i just want to be alone……

Times up i guess..

                  “sigh….”

Well after a long 1 and half months of summer break.I guess its time to go back to land which i name it “The Hole”!..Its been a great back home with everyone.Rediscover things which i didn’t know and knew =D!Spending time with my friends and family.Im really gona miss this place a lot >.< hopefully will come back next year.

Im so gona miss my Lil NonO!!! T.T~~~ another year..and gona miss you too~ i really wish we could spent more time together >.< .When i left Volgograd in my mind i was like “AWSOME AND FINALLY!!!”  but now its like “Crap!! NO!!! it started again =.=!”

       Thanks guys =D! really made my holiday just that awsome!!!

Well at least now I AM A STUDENT..=.= ok not many will understand why but some knows xD! and i lazy wana explain all over again.Its time start to being emo again and fulfill my hopes and dreams!

And so..i say Goodbye everyone..and to a place where i call Home….see you all next year =D!!

Party!

           “With friends,why need enemies?”

Well i can’t deny the fact that i have to sooner or later going back to the “Hole”.So what the heck? just do another party the old fashion way.Drink till you can’t drink! XD but that too didnt work due to  inefficient flow of alcohol to the blood stream >.<!!! haha really thanks everyone for coming and especially my dad who made 1 of the best cocktails and shot ever! xD!!

Had a blast with my friends =D! ahh this gathering is really been a while from last time our old tuition days at Pn.Ainon tuition center xD!

                 You guys really changed my life =D!!

Ian came up with the idea of using card and see whose number is higher or lower must drink 1st and the last will drink all!!!

One of the best shots, 1st on the left is my dad’s AK-47,2nd on the right is Brave Bull,And the left bottom is Black Russian.on the bottom right is my Green Midori. There a still alot but i didnt get the chance to take the pic due to the erm..”Dizziness” lol!!

but to make this happen..you need this!

                     A shaker and mixer and measuring shot                  

              

                 +

                        an awesome array of “Liquids” xD!                   

                                              +

     

                  an awesome dad!!! and some drunk dudes~

                                                =

                                   Some “very” energetic peoples xD!

This is those times which i am glad still to have this great friends =D!

Thanks again everyone =D!!!

counting down the days…

Its just like last year when i left my hometown…The agonizing anxiety to leave home due to boredom…As i recall the past..it sucks to know that everything mostly been just a downfall..nothing really came in great..The hostel problem,my brothers problem and etc.

To tell you the truth,i’m actually glad about time to go back to the “hole”.Its time to take matters to my own hands now.Realizing back how boring life is sitting back home and “goyang kaki” literally the whole day.But i managed to get somethings done =D!

1. Had a great time with my friends =D (still having xD)
2. Makan all the Malaysian food i miss so dearly >.<
3. Learn how to play a guitar (still learning)
4. “kuai lan” with my friends
5. Buy all the things i can’t get in Russia
6. Spending time with my family
7. Waste the whole day playing,sleeping,eating

An example of just great times =D

NONO!!!!

      Me and Yi lian

              and of coz the gang xD!!!!

Having all of this,a suckish day can always turn up great =D!!